


Neverending Nightmares

by DesiresCry



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Autophobia, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, But he really does care for aoba deep down, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Eating Disorders, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Homicidal Ideation, Homicidal Tendencies, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institution, Multi, Neglect, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychosis, Rape Recovery, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation, Seperation Anxiety Disorder, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Sly's an asshole, Suicidal Ideation, Unrequited Love, aoba just needs some hugs omg, chemical dependency, suicide attempt (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-01-19 01:21:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12400158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesiresCry/pseuds/DesiresCry
Summary: **currently discontinued. i may pick this story back up in the future. But don't count on it:")After Aoba attempts to kill himself, he's sent to the inpatient Psychiatric Unit at Midorijima Behavioural Health Hospital for stabilization and treatment. Upon meeting the others in the unit, he begins to grow close with some of them and even develops feelings for a certain someone.The doctors are trying their hardest to push Sly away, to try and get rid of him completely. But, they don't understand Sly or his own story, as they've only truly listened to Aoba's.They don't know how much pain they're causing, and it's not only to Sly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I've read so many fanfictions where the characters go to inpatient psych units, and having been in three different ones myself I notice how wrong and badly portrayed they can be. So hey, I'm like, "I'll just write an accurate one myself!" But some places are different than others, so this is just going off my personal experience.
> 
> So, that's kind of how this mess of a story originated. It will be slow paced and more boring at the beginning, however once it picks up that's when shit gets real.
> 
> This is a longass note that probably none of you read. If you did, go read the actual thing now, I'm awkward. Thanks.

**Saturday, July 14th, 2018**

 

Aoba and his grandmother quickly signed off the consent papers, Aoba wanting to get through the admission process as fast as possible and his grandmother, Tae, wanting Aoba to get help as quickly as possible.

The process had taken 4 hours already, what with short staffing and all the paperwork and questioning they had to go through. Aoba looked as if he could break down at any moment. Well, he had 3 times already. The reason for this was because 1) he'd be away from home even longer than he hoped for, 2) visiting hours were short and only on specific days, and 3) He was just overall he NOT excited to be here.

After all the paperwork had been signed off, a nurse gave Aoba a red folder with his name on it. "Inside is some paperwork for us to help get to know you better and help us with your treatment plan. You can start on it tomorrow, when you're done just turn it in to the nurse's station," she told him with a kind smile on her face. By now it was nearing 8 o'clock in the evening, and Aoba was just thankful that he'd have time soon to sleep away his worries and depression.

Aoba had been transported from Midorijima Community Hospital to Midorijima Behavioural Health Hospital by ambulance. He had stayed in the hospital for a week, finally stable enough physically to come inpatient at their Psychiatric Unit.

Thanking the nurse and turning around, he hugged Tae, who had a grim expression on her face. She wrapped her arms around him in return.

"Sei and I will visit and call as much as possible," she said. "I'll try to contact your parents and see if they can call." Tae's usual outward appearancd had been cast aside, instead showing a rare side of her that was sympathetic both inside and out.

Aoba knew that by the time his parents heard of the news, it would most likely have been at least 6 months, but he was glad Tae would try to get them to call. So after a few minutes, he nodded in response, breaking away from the silent hug that overflowed with emotion.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," Aoba said, wishing he could smile reassuringly at her but in reality he just wanted to break down again. Tae nodded back, and reluctantly Tae was led out of the unit by a nurse and set off to the elevator.

Peeking in the folder he had been given, he noticed a page with the weekly schedule on it. Scanning over it for Saturday, he saw that right now it was snack-time and free time, and that 9:30 was when they'd get ready for bed. He did also notice there was late night, but he definitely wasn't taking it tonight.

He went through a quick body check, then was given different socks to wear but thankfully didn't have to wear one of those dull hospital gowns. As a nurse escorted him to the day room, he noticed all the other nurses, doctors, and therapists bustling around, though it remained relatively calm. There was a short hallway, with 2 rooms on the left side and one on the right. Then there was a slight dent in the wall, leading to a plain blue room which he wasn't given the opportunity to see inside of.

Next, there was a bunch of chairs lined up against the wall with wallphones above each. There was a small table, with pink bins stacked on top and even more lined up by twos on the chairs. They all had different names on them and toiletries inside. Across from that was the front desk, or the nurse's station as they called it. Inside there were mostly nurses and a few therapists answering phone calls or typing away on computers.

Around the middle area of the nurse's station, there was a large space that connected into a very long hallway with lots of doors, and at the end was a large window and some more chairs. Aoba assumed this was where their rooms were. He also knew he would be getting a roommate, something he didn't know if he was excited about or not.

Then, to the right of that hallway was a small desk bolted into the wall, which was very close to a door with a sign that said "Day Room". There were a couple of other doors further down, but Aoba didn't have the chance to look at what they were for because the nurse was already leading him inside the day room.

In the room, there were about 5 other people. Beside the door there was a desk places under a window, and 3 long tables, two on either ends of the room and one in the middle. There was a TV, which was turned on, but nobody seemed to be paying attention to it. There was also another large set of windows, with lots of encouraging words and drawings on it. There was also a white counter on another side of the room with a fridge, sink, and cabinets. One of the cabinets was open to reveal a pile of snacks. Everybody was sitting together at the middle table, while two therapists sat watch at another.

Aoba sat down at the end of the table, keeping his gaze down and focusing his attention onto the floor. He wanted to make his presence unknown, but that obviously failed when a guy with messy white hair, pink eyes, and had the bottom half of his face covered by a medical mask, gasped and slapped his cards down onto the table in excitement.

"So you had my 9!" A girl with short, choppy blonde hair yelled. She had grey-blue eyes, and one side of her face bore a thick, long red line in the shape of a frown coming from the corner of her mouth. They seemed to be playing Spoons, a common card game.

Another guy snorted in amusement at the girl's fury. He grabbed a plastic spoon from the middle of the table, and everyone quickly grabbed a spoon. The white-haired guy was the only one without a spoon. But, he didn't seem to care.

"You must be new! A lot of people have already gone to bed, but you'll be able to meet everybody in the morning!" He announced enthusiastically.

 

In the background everyone was still screaming at eachother because of the card game. The white-haired guy waited patiently for Aoba's response, trying his best to make eye contact with the younger male.

Aoba gritted his teeth in anxiety, unsure of whether he should just pretend he was deaf, or actually respond.

The guy's eyes seemed to smile at Aoba understandingly, even though Aoba said absolutely nothing. "I know how terrible it is on your first day, but would you like me to introduce everyone who's here right now? It might make you feel a bit better!" He suggested enthusiastically.

Aoba took another peek at the bickering teenagers, his gaze finally peeking up and away from the tiled flooring.

"They seem occupied."

The guy laughed. "Yeah, this is how it usually is with them. Oh, and I'm Clear, by the way. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have about this place."

Aoba nodded slowly. His voice was still obviously laced with hesitance as he responded, though the anxiety went down just a little bit.

"I'm Aoba. It's nice to meet you."

"It's wonderful to meet you too, Aoba-san!"

Aoba's tilted his head. "What's with the honorific?"

Clear shrugged, but Aoba could tell he knew exactly why. "It feels more comfortable for me, and I try to be respectful to everyone I meet."

Aoba nodded.

He wasn't sure how to carry on the conversation. He wasn't in a very talkative mood, naturally. He didn't think anybody would be on their first day in a mental institution.

Luckily, he didn't have to.

"New guy! Wanna join?" The blonde-haired girl from earlier called out to him. Suddenly, everybody's eyes were on Aoba, and he felt his anxiety rise back up and a wave of self-consciousness crashed over him. He tugged his sweater sleeves over his hands, concealing the self-harm and suicide attempt marks, even though they wouldn't be able to see them due to his arms being hidden under the table. But, on his neck there was another nasty looking mark from his attempt. He had tried to slit his neck open and cut open his veins, and the marks were so deep and life-threatening he had to get stiches. It was definitely not a pretty sight, and it was there in plain sight for them all to see. He only hoped that nobody would pay attention to that. Then again, he couldn't be the only one here for suicidal ideation, right?

"Oh, uh, sure.." He mumbled.

Clear spoke up happily. "His name is Aoba-san! He seems like a very nice person!!"

The blonde directed her smile to Aoba. "I'm Amanda. I go by Mandy, though."

The other 3 spoke up now, introducing themselves.

"Kody and Karmen. Right now I'm Kody." Aoba was confused for a few small moments by Kody's introduction, however knew not to judge him and he had a faint idea of what he may have meant by that. Kody looked just slightly younger than the rest of the group, with sandy brown hair and one green eye. His other eye was a whitish blue with no pupil, and there was a long, pink scar running across his eye and down his cheek. There was a small scar on the corner of his mouth, curving upwards. It was a... Unique appearance, so to speak.

The next person spoke up. "I'm Mizuki! Don't worry, this place isn't as bad as you think it's gonna be." He leaned in and whispered, "though there is one REALLY mean therapist who's made kids have breakdowns and anxiety attacks, so just a fair warning. Her name's Sue."

Everybody's face got really annoyed or angry at the mention of her. Well, Aoba didn't know what kind of face Clear was making, but he assumed it was probably similar to the rest of theirs by the way Clear furrowed his eyebrows.

The guy who had just introduced himself had dark reddish-purple hair, most likely dyed, with light green eyes and tan skin. He had multiple tattoos. 

The last person introduced himself.

"I am Ren. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," he spoke in a calm and collected manner. Aoba was surprised by his formal dialect at first, though he just smiled and nodded.

"Okay! Now that we've got that done and over with, I'm going to fucking MURDER you all in B.S.," Mandy snickered, grabbing everyone's cards and quickly shuffling them. 

Mandy set up the game and then dealed the cards out to everyone, an evil smirk set upon her lips and a fire of determination burning in her eyes. Clear kept his happy, carefree attitude and didn't really seem to mind whether he won or not, the complete opposite of Mandy and Kody. Kody and Mandy were bickering with each other as the game went on, shouting insults left and right. Mizuki was just smiling, but didn't appear too competitive, while Ren had a neutral and calm expression and barely spoke the entire game unless needed.

A therapist had to butt in a couple of times to tell them to calm down and stop using such profuse language, but they honestly didn't seem to give a shit.

Eventually, 9:30 came around and Aoba was glad to have time to himself. Mandy, Mizuki, and Clear stayed in the day room for late night, meanwhile Kody, Ren, and Aoba headed down the hallway to their rooms. Aoba's room was at the end of the hallway, so he took time to observe who was roommates with who while walking. Some names he recognized, others he didn't.

Room 32001 - Mink & Jeffery

Their room door was slightly opened, but not enough for Aoba to get a glimpse of either person's appearance.

Room 32002 - Kody & Noiz

Aoba recognized Kody's name, and the brief glance he got inside of the room while walking past showed a guy with blonde hair sitting at a desk, but he was unsure of anything else about his appearance. 

Room 32003 - Mandy

Aoba felt a twinge of jealously that Mandy got a room of her own, but then again it did make sense because boys and girls were most likely separated. She must be the only girl here, then. Either that, or there were two others that shared a room and she was the third forced to room alone.

Room 32004 - Mizuki & Koujaku

The door to their room was mostly closed, but Aoba managed to catch a quick glance of a suprisingly tall guy leaning against the windowsill and looking out of it into the dark, starry sky. Or, maybe he was looking at the nearby buildings, Aoba didn't know. He didn't get to take in his appearance.

Room 32005 - Clear

Clear's door was wide open, the opposite of Mandy, who had her door shut completely. Another twinge of jealousy. But Aoba forced himself not to dwell on it, Clear probably had a perfectly good reason to have his own room.

Room 32006 - Ren & Aoba

His room was at the very end, and he and Ren had both gotten there at the same time. Aoba tried to flash Ren a small smile as the two walked inside, and he recieved the tiniest hint of a smile in return. Aoba placed his red folder on the desk across from what he assumed would be his bed, since Ren's papers and belongings were placed on the other desk. Aoba sat down on his bed, making direct eye contact with Ren before he could walk out of the room.

"Ren. Could you explain to me what the nighttime routine is?" Aoba asked, catching more of Ren's attention.

Ren nodded. "Of course, what is it that you need clarification on?"

"When we're supposed to actually be asleep, and what those pink bins are for." Aoba did see a list of rules and other things similar in his folder, so he made a mental note to look over it later. He didn't want to bother Ren with too many questions either, especially if they were obvious or stupid ones.

"Lights out is at 11 o'clock, and they do expect us to be in bed by midnight, however they do let roommates talk throughout the night as long as they both get at least 5 hours of sleep," Ren explained. "The pink bins are used for our toiletries, so we take them from their places on the chairs and do what we'd regularly do to keep our personal hygiene as well as possible. You have the option to shower in either the morning, or the night. There are towels out by the bins, and when you have finished with your towel put it in one of the soiled linen baskets in the hallway."

"Okay, thank you for explaining it for me," Aoba said with a small smile. He followed what Ren had told him and got his bin, getting himself ready for bed as quickly as possible. Ren did the same alongside him, but at a slower pace, and then went to go take a shower as Aoba crawled into bed.

The bed wasn't hard, but it wasn't the most comfortable, either. It was safe to say that it would still let him sleep, but not as well as usual. This was one thing he had dreaded before coming here, considering how bad the regular hospital beds were.

Tae would be bringing him more pairs of clothing to change into as the weeks went on, but for now he was stuck in his thin, long-sleeved blue shirt and white sweats.

There seemed to be thousands of independent thoughts racing throughout Aoba's head, and he groaned in annoyance. It was preventing him from being able to slip into sleep peacefully, and he wished for this day to be over more than anything.

Aoba put all of his attention onto the sound of the shower water running to drown out the thoughts, and eventually, they went quiet, and Aoba fell asleep shortly after.

He definitely was not excited about being here, but he had a feeling it wouldn't be as bad as he thought it would be. He'd see how things went in the morning.

For now, Aoba just wanted to sleep away his distress and forget everything, even if it was just for a little while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sunday, July 15th, 2018**

  
The next morning, the unit was mostly silent. Aoba wasn't sure if it was because the other patients were still asleep, or he had somehow gone deaf, but either way he was thankful he didn't have to deal with any loud noises.

Aoba followed Ren's next set of instructions for the morning routine--wake up, make your bed, shower and/or take care of your personal hygiene, get your vitals taken by one of the nurses, then wait in your room until breakfast is called. Most of the patients took their meds during the waiting time, from what Aoba could observe by them all crowding around the door to the med room.

At 9:00 am, they were called down to the day room for breakfast. There was a cart full of trays parked outside the door, but everybody sat down first. There were 10 patients total, including Aoba. 7 of them were seated at the middle table, 2 of them were seated at the left table, while two therapists were seated at the end of the right table near the door.

The two sitting across from eachother were both extremely intimidating, and Aoba definitely did not want to risk sitting with them. But, could he really sit down with everybody else? Would they welcome him there? He felt like an outcast, assuming they've all been here for much longer than he had been. 

"Aoba-san! Come sit with us!" Clear's voice rang out, slightly muffled by the medical mask. Aoba nodded and sat down next to Clear at the table. He saw Ren, Mizuki, Kody, and Mandy from last night, and they all smiled and waved hello. He did the same back.

The two others seated across from Aoba, he didn't recognize. The blonde one only stared, his eyes burning into his skull. There were tiny holes in places on his face, most likely from piercings that he had to take out when he came here. Aoba gulped and adverted his attention towards the taller of the two. He had black hair, with dark purple undertones under the lights, with his bangs covering half his face and the rest pulled into a side ponytail which rested on his shoulder. He wore one of the standard hospital gowns, and Aoba didn't know if it was because he was new or he just didn't have any clothes with him. He slightly hoped it was the first one, because he didn't want to be the only new person here.

The guy had a long, pink scar across his nose, and visible tattoos on the right side of his neck and shoulder. He smiled at Aoba, a smile full of genuine friendliness, and Aoba could've sworn his heart skipped a beat at the sight.

His facial features were absolutely stunning, and Aoba couldn't help but stare. Everything about him seemed so, so perfect in his vision, he was surprised that a guy like this was in a psychiatric unit.

"Hello, I'm Koujaku. You must be the new guy, Aoba? Mizuki told me about you."

'Holy shit,' Aoba thought. Aoba's faced flushed for a moment at the sound of Koujaku's voice. It was deep and soothing, the type of voice that could drown out the sound of everything else and have you so deeply focused on that one and only voice.

Koujaku's eyes, well, the one eye he could see, were a captivating wine red that Aoba found himself drawn to. Were they even his natural eye color? Aoba didn't know, nor did he really care.

It wasn't like him to get so flustered over someone on their first meeting, so he pushed the feeling into the back of his mind and cracked a small smile in return.

"Yeah, that's me."

Aoba wanted to say something, anything, to keep this conversation going. But his mind drew a total blank, and Koujaku only smiled and then turned to butt in on the other's conversation.

Their conversation was over. It left Aoba with an empty and disappointed feeling, but then he chastised himself for swooning over somebody that, one, he just met, and two, was a patient in a mental institution. This was not the place to find his new best friend (or boyfriend).

Aoba decided to focus in on the conversation going on between the other patients at the table, drowning out those thoughts.

"Right? I'm seeing 11 year olds with iPhone X's, and here I am, with some cheap Samsung that I didn't get until I was 14!" Mandy exclaimed, throwing her hands up into the air.

"Sucks to suck, I got mine when I was 12," Kody bragged, smirking. Ren's eyes flicked back and forth between the two as they spoke, but he didn't add anything into the conversation. Ren didn't seem like he spoke much with any of the others. Koujaku, Mizuki, and Clear agreed with Mandy, but the scary blonde took Kody's side.

"Group B, come get your trays!" A nurse called out, standing in the doorway. Panic arised in Aoba's chest, seeing 4 people stand up and head out into the hallway. They were handed their trays by a second nurse. Two of them were the intimidating ones sitting at the other table, one was the blonde-haired guy who kept glaring at him, and the last one was Mizuki. A third nurse handed them all 3 plastic utensils along with a folded paper.

"Aoba-san." Clear's voice brought back Aoba's attention. The panic grew a bit more.

"Yeah?"

"Are you here for chemical dependency?" Clear's tone wasn't mean or judging, it was calm and he seemed like he had a perfectly good reason for asking such a seemingly personal question.

Aoba shook his head. "I'm not. Why?"

"Group B is for those who are here mainly because of chemical dependency," Clear explained. "So, you'll be in Group A."

Aoba nodded. "Alright. Thank you."

Clear smiled with his eyes. "No problemo!"

Clear looked away and paid attention to the others again. Another conversation was over. This time, Aoba didn't know how to feel. He wasn't here to make friends, he was here to get proper treatment. Why did he care so much about what these people were thinking of him?

The sinking feeling in Aoba's chest returned, and he decided that the table was the best place to stare mindlessly at and agonize over his self-conscious thoughts.

"Group A, come get your trays!" The same nurse called out. Everyone at the table stood up except for the blonde guy and Mizuki, and they all headed out into the hallway.

The second nurse called out names, handing the patient their tray when they were called, and Aoba was able to catch the blonde guys name. It was Noiz. The last name called was his, so he took his tray silently and the third nurse put utensils and the same green and white folded paper on his tray.

Aoba sat down, staring at the tray. He didn't take the lid off the plate. He didn't look to see whatever he even had. His head was swimming like a tide of lost fish, ringing growing louder and louder in his ears.

His ears strained to listen in on someone's conversation, to distract him from the overwhelming feeling crashing over his nearly shaking body.

Aoba ended up listening in on the two intimidating guys conversation, something he wasn't happy to have done.

"-so, I told her, you owe me one, now stop resisting and let me take care of my fucking boner, right?" The guy with shoulder-length jet black hair spoke. Out of the corner of Aoba's eye he was able to catch more of his appearance. He wore a white hoodie, with the strings cut off of course, and his skin was oddly pale, almost paper white. He had dark bags under his crystal blue eyes, and the corners of his mouth were cut into a thin, dark red smile. Aoba thought he looked like a Jeffery, so he assumed the other one was Mink. Those were the only two he hadn't officially met, after all.

Mink nodded. He had long brown dreadlocks that faded to a dark red, framing his sharp-featured face. He was very well built, and there wasn't even a hint of a smile upon his face.

"Yeah. And she told me that she didn't care if she owed me, she had a boyfriend, but I didn't care if she had some dumbass boyfriend. She eventually just gave up and let me do whatever I wanted with her."

Aoba felt his hands begin to shake horrendously. Did Jeffrey realize what he had done to that girl? All the trauma he probably caused her?

He didn't want to interfere or butt in on their conversation. He couldn't- he was too terrified to do so. But Aoba couldn't get the memories and pictures of _that_  incident out of his mind. He could feel the pain on his body again, feel their hands touching places that he wanted to save for the right person, suffocating him and destroying him bit by bit. He could no longer save himself for the right person. That privledge had been viciously ripped away from him, leaving a deep wound in his heart.

He tried to bury his face in his hands, in hopes that Jeffery's voice would drown out, that the memories would somehow fade away. But neither of those things happened.

Aoba was having a full blown panic attack by now, his entire body shaking. He didn't want to do this anymore. He couldn't do this anymore. He wanted something, anything to allow him to escape from the cruel reality known as life.

"Aoba-san? What's wro-" Clear stopped abruptly with wide eyes when Aoba banged his head onto the table, his hands gripping his hair so tight Clear was surprised he wasn't tearing it out.

The banging caught the attention of the other patients. Even the blonde guy looked a bit sympathetic, but none of them had any idea what was really going on. A therapist noticed the current situation, and made his way over to Aoba.

"Aoba? Do you need to take a break in the quiet room?" He asked, concern showing in his eyes.

Aoba felt a major pain shoot through his head, and that's when he knew he wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. He felt a bit grateful, but slightly anxious because he had no idea what _he_ might do about this. That incident was the entire reason  _he_ was created. He drowned in his own thoughts, and eventually felt his conscioussness fade out.

"Oh, fuck no." Aoba stood up, knocking the chair backwards. The patients only stared in shock, unsure of what to say. It was the therapists job to help him, anyways. Aoba's other personality was pissed, and there was no way in hell he was letting Jeffery off the hook.

Spinning around, in a flash he had knocked Jeffery to the ground and had him in a chokehold.

" _YOU_  ARE JUST LIKE THEM! WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO FORCE YOURSELF ONTO OTHERS?" He screamed at him as Jeffery gasped for air. Jeffery's eyes pierced him in a sharp glare, but Aoba (for now, we'll call him Desire) could care less, he was glaring in just the same way.

Jeffery's arm darted out and managed to grab the plastic knife from his tray and jabbed it into Desire's stomach with full force. Desire's face twisted in pain, but the knife was plastic after all, so it wasn't very harmful.

Desire's freehand swung forward, punching Jeffery directly in the nose. There was a sickening crack, and Desire was about to punch him some more but multiple therapists grabbed him and pulled him back forcefully. Desire struggled against them, but it was 5 to 1, and they managed to drag him out of the day room and into the quiet room. They had to lock the door to the quiet room to keep Desire inside.

Desire pounded his fist against the door, anger bubbling up inside him. "YOU CAN'T KEEP ME LOCKED AWAY FOREVER! AOBA CAN'T, YOU CAN'T, NOBODY CAN!" He screamed, his fist colliding with the wall in a fit of anger. His knuckles were raw and bleeding from having punched the wall so harshly, and there was a strong tingling sensation that spread from his hands throughout his body.

Jeffery, meanwhile, was taken to the school room instead. "Jeff, you just got taken off of full ITP. I thought you wanted to leave soon?" The nurse spoke, disappointed, as she walked him inside. His face was set in a hard scowl, but at least he wasn't trying to stab everybody like when he had first arrived here.

"Oh, fuck off. Everyone knows that I'll get high the minute I get out, so what the hell's the point?" He grumbled, his voice deep and scratchy.

Mink sat at the table, now alone, in silence. Nobody knew what on earth he was thinking, since his default expression was a scowl and furrowed eyebrows.

Kody frowned. He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it seeing everybody's expressions.

Clear stood up, grabbing both his and Aoba's tray. He set down the folded paper in Aoba's spot and turned their utensils into one of the therapists, then put the trays away on the cart and dropped his own folded paper in a bin on top of the cart.

Sitting back down, he sighed. Ren continued to eat his food, finishing second and doing the same as Clear had done. Everybody followed suite, nobody having anything to say. They couldn't exactly talk about other patients when they weren't in the room, anyways.

Desire's banging echoed throughout the unit, but eventually, it stopped. His doctor then knocked on the door, and Desire shot him a glare through the small window on the door.

"Aoba? May I speak with you?"

Desire scoffed. "It's Sly."

The doctor didn't say anything, he only unlocked the door and stepped inside. "I'm Dr. Norb, I'll be your doctor while you're staying here. I have a few questions to ask, if you don't mind."

Sly wasn't in the mood to talk, but he figured he didn't have the choice. Appearing calm may be able to help him get out of this suffocating and bland room, so he nodded while crossing his arms. There was still a glare in his eyes.

"Okay. What set you off back there, Sly?" Dr. Norb asked.

Sly growled. "That fucking bastard, he triggered Aoba, so naturally I had to protect him."

"In what ways do you try to protect Aoba?"

"The fuck is up with these questions? I'll beat the shit out of anyone who triggers his weak ass. It's pathetic when he just breaks down and then goes and slices up his arms like a fucking maniac," Sly spat, gritting his teeth together. His fingernails dug into his skin in anger.

"And when you beat people up, do you think about the consequences that Aoba will have to face afterward?" Dr. Norb questioned, not taking his eyes off his clipboard as he jotted things down.

Sly rolled his eyes. "Consequences? If anything, I'm teaching those people not to mess with him. If they fight back and he gets injured, that's his own damn problem."

"Okay. Do you know why Jeff triggered Aoba?"

"He was talking about raping some girl, and Aoba remembered _those_  fucking bastards. God, even I get tense just thinking about what they did."

The therapists and doctors already knew of the incident involving Virus and Trip, and how much it had affected Aoba. It had traumatized him so much that his subconscious made Sly to protect him, after all.

Dr. Norb frowned. "I'll have to talk to Jeff about that topic." He wrote a couple more things down, then looked down at Sly. "Do you think you're stable enough to go to group? Or would you rather calm down more first?"

Sly had to think for a moment. He shrugged. "I'd rather not be in this room, so I guess I'll go to group."

Dr. Norb smiled just slightly. "That's good. I'll escort you to group, then. They're just about to get started."

Dr. Norb and Sly walked down the mostly quiet hallway, Sly noticing 3 patients head into the school room. He stepped into the day room, seeing everybody and two therapists all sitting together in a circle of chairs. Clear waved, motioning to the empty chair beside him.

Sly narrowed his eyes, but sat down anyways. Koujaku was sitting to Sly's left.

"Are you okay, Aoba?" He asked, concern clearly etched into his voice.

Sly growled. "I am  _not_ that whiny bitch. Aoba's busy having a mental breakdown like a fucking pussy."

Koujaku furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't think you sho-" He was cut off by the therapist.

"Okay everyone! I'm Lindsey, I'll be with Group A this morning. We'll start with introductions since we have a new patient today. Would anybody like to go first?" Her voice was calm and cheerful, and the patients seemed to like her because they weren't as tense as they were around other therapists.

Clear's hand shot up. "I'll go!"

Lindsey smiled and nodded. "Okay. State your name, age, why you're here, how long you've been here, and one rule."

"I'm Clear. I'm 17, I have ADHD and Mirrored-self Misidentification. I've been here for 17 days, and one rule is no touching each other."

"Wonderful. Which way would you like to go?" She was referring to who would go next in the circle.

"Let's go right," Clear responded. Sly suppressed a snarky comment at Clear's introduction, somewhat interested in what the other people were in here for.

On Clear's right, Mandy was there, so she went next.

"Hi! I'm Mandy, I'm 16, and I'm here for Borderline Personality Disorder and homicidal tendencies. I've been here for 21 days, and a rule is don't share any contact information or last names due to confidentiality." She smiled at everyone, twirling a strand of her hair with her finger. Sly was genuinely surprised that she was here because she wanted to kill people, but reminded himself everybody here was a psycho, so he only smirked and leaned back in his chair.

Ren was next. "Good morning. My name is Ren, I am 16, and the reasons I am here are because of depression, an eating disorder, and Seperation Anxiety Disorder. I have been here for 5 days, and one rule here is that you are not allowed to curse."

Sly groaned. "Seriously? That's the stupidest rule I've ever heard of. We're all teenagers here."

"Please wait your turn to speak," Lindsey spoke sternly.

Kody snickered. Sly shot him an intense glare, but Kody only smirked.

"I'm Kody. I'm 15, and I'm here for Dissociative Identity Disorder, depression, homicidal and suicidal thoughts, and PTSD. I've been here for 36 days and a rule is always keep your socks on."

Sly didn't have anything to say to that. Next, it was Koujaku's turn to speak.

"Yo, I'm Koujaku. I'm 17. I'm here for anger management and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I've been here for 19 days, and one rule is no revolving doors. That means don't keep going in and out of the room to get things, unless you're called out by a nurse or doctor." He had a warm smiled upon his face. Sly thought it looked dorky. He really didn't understand what Aoba saw in him.

 _Oh, fuck._ It was Sly's turn. He made sure to glare at everybody in the circle before speaking.

"I'm Sly. I'm 15. I have no idea why the fuck I'm here, but Aoba is here because he's a messed up piece of shit. I don't know any rules, nor do I plan on following any of them."

Kody rolled his eyes. Mandy chuckled a bit, while Ren just stared and Koujaku frowned slightly.

"Well, Sly, could you tell us the more specific reasons of why Aoba is here?" Lindsey asked, her lips pressed into a forced smile. She was obviously unhappy with Sly's attitude, and overall personality.

"Fuck no. I don't plan on sharing anything with any of you."

Ren stood up.

"I'm going to take a break," he spoke softly, his eyes still locked to the floor. Lindsey nodded, and the second therapist in the room escorted Ren out of the room.

Sly clicked his tongue. "What's his problem?"

"Sly. Everyone is here for their own reasons, as you heard. We would all appreciate if you could just follow along with the group," Lindsey flipped through the papers in her binder, stopping on one with a patients information on it.

"Are you kidding me? I haven't been in control for days. Being stuffed in the back of Aoba's mind is absolute shit, do you know how much of a fucking  _mess_ it is in there?" Sly retorted, crossing his legs and clenching his teeth. Mandy stared at something far off in the distance, still twirling her hair, while Kody still snickered. Koujaku's gaze was slightly upset, but also relatively calm. Sly had no idea what the fuck Clear had going on with him. "And I can't get Aoba to front if he stills feels threatened."

There was a long pause, some of the patients looking elsewhere in the room as others just stared directly at Sly.

"You know what? You're all a group of assholes, and Aoba seems fine now. See you the fuck later," Sly snapped, clenching his eyes shut in a fit of bubbling anger. When he opened his eyes, they seemed to be a much softer color for some odd reason, and Aoba blinked in confusion. It took him a moment to realize where he was.

"Oh my God. Sly didn't say anything rude, did he? I'm so, so sorry if he did, I.. I..." Aoba put his hands over his mouth and glanced around apologetically. Koujaku put his hand on the armrest of Aoba's chair to catch his attention, and smiled earnestly at him.

Aoba found himself lost in those eyes again, a calming sensation washing over him as Koujaku rested his gaze upon him.

"Don't apologize, Aoba. I'm just glad we have a chance to talk to you. I'm Lindsey," the therapist said, waving at him.

"O-Oh. Okay. Thanks." There Aoba was again. With nothing to say, his mind drew an absolute blank.

"We were doing introductions. Just say your name, age, and why you're here," Lindsey explained. She tapped her pen lightly against her clipboard.

Aoba nodded. At least he found something to say.

"I'm Aoba, and I'm 15. I'm here for depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and I have Dissociative Identity Disorder," Aoba told the group, his voice quiet and shy. He felt anxious, even just saying the reasons why he was here. They were so personal to him, and even though there were only 6 other people listening to him, it still made him anxious as hell.

"So do I. I hope you can better deal with it while you're here!" Kody interjected, flashing a quick smile at the blue-haired teenager.

"Thanks."

"That was wonderful, Aoba. Most new patients don't have the courage to say why they are here, that was very brave of you," Lindsey commented. Aoba smiled a bit at this. "We'll start check in now. Does anybody besides Clear want to go first?"

Clear whined, obviously wanting to go first. Koujaku spoke up, and Lindsey began asking him the standard questions.

"From 1-10, how would you rate your depression?"

"A two."

"And anxiety?"

"None."

Aoba made sure to listen closely to Koujaku's check in, finding himself even more drawn to him as he spoke. He didn't even pay attention to the therapists questions. Instead, Aoba found himself drowning within that deep red pool in his eye. His voice made him completely forget all his previous anxiety.

"Wonderful. How has your anger been this morning?"

"Well, I was getting very close to snapping because of someone." Aoba knew he was probably talking about Sly, but he wouldn't blame him.

"But, I used the fist squeeze technique to help myself stay calm. Yesterday night I was pretty pissed off though, because a certain person wasn't even considering other people's feelings whenever he spoke and majorly upset a lot of the patients."

"How did you deal with that?"

"I went to bed early, even if it meant missing snack and free time, but it helped me release a lot of my anger by using self-care."

"That's great, Koujaku. We've noticed a lot of improvement in your anger management. How about your dysphoria? Did you try on to wear some of the clothes you have here or push your hair out of your face?"

"No. Taking a shower did increase the dysphoria, and I was close to punching the mirror when I caught a glimpse of the side of my face," Koujaku admitted, the corners of his mouth tugging into a frown.

Lindsey jotted some more things down. "That's okay. Today you'll have an assignment on identifying what specifically causes your dysphoria, and I'd like you to include as much detail as possible. Do you have a goal for today?"

Koujaku took time to think. "I'll try to keep my hair out of my face."

Lindsey smiled. "Okay, I'm glad you're more willing to try now. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?"

Koujaku shook his head.

Lindsey flipped the paper to a different patient. "Clear, it's your turn."

Aoba didn't pay attention to anybody's check ins. His own check in was short and he seemed obviously distracted, but Lindsey didn't push him because it was his first day here after all. Aoba didn't get an assignment like everybody else, or a goal. He was just told to work on the paperwork in his red folder.

At 11, morning group was over. Everybody headed back to their rooms, and a silence filled the halls as everybody did their assignments. Some sat against their door in the hallway, chatting from time to time, but Aoba just couldn't focus on his own paperwork.

He had a hard time answering most of the questions. This was so personal, and although he knew they needed to know this in order to treat him properly, he wouldn't lie that the thought hadn't occurred to him to just lie about how he was feeling. But then, he'd probably just try to kill himself again, so he shook his head to clear the thought.

"Aoba?" Ren's voice interrupted his thoughts. Aoba glanced up and shifted his gaze over to Ren.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" Ren didn't speak so formally this time. Those three simple words were laced with so much emotion and concern, but Aoba couldn't tell him the truth. He reminded himself he wasn't here to make friends, or find his future husband. Everybody was here to focus on their own treatment, and nobody else's. 

 

 

So Aoba just forced a smile onto his face, and replied with, "I'm fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really laid back compared to future chapters. Be prepared for a shitstorm;)


End file.
